"Dancing With the Stars" Gets Off to a Rowdy Start

Tom Bergeron kept calling it “the season of surprises.” I think it could be the first time the hype is actually right…

If you missed tonight’s season premiere of “Dancing With the Stars,” you missed a doozy.

There was some good dancing. There was some bad dancing. But all anyone will be talking about on all the blogs tomorrow is Cloris Leachman…and not for her dancing…

I adore Leachman and think it’s awesome that she’s doing this show. But as Bergeron (who really deserved that Emmy last night) alluded to in his intro, the reason to tune in for Leachman is not her dancing, but to see what she’s going to say. And she did not disappoint.

After a blah dance with her partner Corky Ballas, Cloris told the judges, “I’m not winning anyway, it doesn’t matter what you say.” She then tried to entice Bruno by propping her leg (which looks pretty darn good for an 82-year-old) up on the judges’ table. Then, she tried to distract Len with her cleavage (which looked pretty good as well) and then she sat on Carrie Ann’s lap. Len even said this was his chance to be a “boy toy.”

But the real action started backstage when Leachman got her scores. After seeing Carrie Ann’s score, Leachman railed, “That little s---,” getting the censors involved in the evening. In fact, they had to bleep her at least three times that I heard. I almost voted for her just so we could be sure to see her tomorrow.

However, Leachman wasn’t the only one who kept the censors busy. I think I heard Jeffrey Ross get bleeped at least once…

So what actually happened on the dance floor?

Cody Linley couldn’t stop looking at his partner Julianne’s behind…

Rocco DiSpirito proved he will do anything to get on TV. I like Rocco, but he should really stick to the kitchen. And I’m sure Karina was thinking, “I danced on a bum ankle for this?”…

Toni Braxton not only showed some smooth moves, but a lot of bravery doing the show with her heart condition. But that rendition of “Smooth” by the band sounded so dead…

Maurice Greene and Cheryl danced…

Brooke Burke got great complements from the judges, but I thought she was totally stiff (This is why I’m not a fan of this show. I can’t judge what’s good or bad.). Her partner, Derek, though is adorable. And is it just me or does Brooke look eerily like Shannon Elizabeth, Derek’s partner last year (and his current girlfriend)? Maybe that’s why Shannon was in the audience…

Ted McGinley appeared to be mocking the whole thing…

Jeffrey Ross danced despite his scratched cornea that his partner, Edyta, caused when she accidentally poked him in the eye. And then Bergeron tried to cut him off when he wouldn’t stop with the one-liners, but apparently the director wanted to keep hearing them because the camera didn’t switch…

Kim Kardashian showed she has some good moves…

Susan Lucci needed to show a little more hoochie mama in her moves, but how great did she look in that outfit?...

Misty May-Treanor looked absolutely gorgeous but she’s going to need a little more grace if she’s going to keep my streak alive…

Warren Sapp completely wowed the crowd by showing way more hip action than Susan Lucci did. He could be a real dark horse…

And last but not least, the ballroom welcomed some new blood as new pro Lacey Schwimmer (“So You Think You Can Dance”) scorched the dance floor with an awesome routine with Lance Bass. She’s going to be a lot of fun for us, but a lot of consternation for Len, who you just knew would hate her contemporary choreography. The look Bruno gave him when he posted a score of 6 was priceless…

Tomorrow night, one couple will go home at the beginning of the show and then the remaining couples will dance a second dance. Then Wednesday, a second couple will go home and the Jonas Brothers and Jesse McCartney will perform…

If I had to make a prediction as to who will go, I would have to say Jeffrey and Edyta. They got the lowest score from the judges and not a lot of people know who he is.

So what did you think of the premiere? Are you looking forward to seeing what Lacey and Lance do next? Did you find Cloris entertaining or do you think she was out of line? And what about Warren Sapp?

“Dancing With the Stars” airs tomorrow (Tuesday) at 9 p.m. and Wednesday at 8 p.m. on ABC…