Conan's opening remarks...

Conan takes his first jab at NBC saying the Emmys will be cancelled halfway through...Mel Gibson joke...Takes on Ellen Burstyn by turning it into a sex joke. Nice. Burstyn is not shown. I'm betting she's not there...

Charlie Sheen joke. At least he didn't touch on the Denise thing...

Gift basket joke. You knew that was coming...

Why is Heather Locklear sitting with Jason Lee?...

Looks like we'll get A LOT more Kiefer shots this year. Thank goodness...

Now, Conan is taking on NBC with a song? What? Did NBC know about this? "We got trouble here at NBC"...Okay, I think we're done with this...