"Desperate Housewives": Well?

There was a fascinating article in this weekend’s “USA Today” about “Desperate Housewives.” In it, head writer/show creator Marc Cherry and several cast members admitted what we already knew: This season sucked.

James Denton (Mike), who we barely saw all season, said there were too many characters (He counted 19.). Marcia Cross (Bree) admitted to complaining to the writers about Bree. Teri Hatcher (Susan) said the writers never gave Susan a good story arc this year. Mehcad Brooks (Matthew Applewhite) complained about the disappointment of the Applewhite storyline and the total misuse of Alfre Woodward (Betty)—who wouldn’t even comment for the story.

But the most disturbing comment came from Marc Cherry himself who said that this season the writers (figuratively, of course) just threw some stuff on the wall to see what would stick and some of it didn’t stick.

Yeah, that’s the way to write a show.

The thing is, when the stuff didn’t stick, why didn’t he just throw it away? When it became obvious the Applewhite story wasn’t going to work, why didn’t he just get rid of them? When every critic in America complained that the ladies weren’t together enough, why didn’t he change that?

Could it be because he didn’t want to admit the truth—to us or himself?

Cherry promises that next year the show will go back to the way it was. So did tonight’s finale give me any hope that he’s right?

No. It did not.

Carlos cheating on Gabi? Dumb. The new storyline with Tom and Lynette? Totally stupid. Bree admitting herself into an institution and then not being allowed to leave? Whatever. Zach completely turning his back on his dad? Mean and out of character (for both of them). Not even the completely pointless flashbacks did anything other than to remind me how much I miss Steven Culp (Rex).

But then came the last five minutes. I have to admit I already knew what was going to happen to Mike because a friend of mine told me. I was starting to get a little frustrated because I was sure it would be Karl who ran Mike down and that story was really the only highlight of the episode. So I admit I was shocked (and relieved) to see Orson behind the wheel. And then when he showed up at Bree’s door, I have to admit I was intrigued (Boy, Bree can pick ‘em, can’t she?).

So is Mike dead? I honestly have no idea. In the same “USA Today” article, James Denton said he had no idea where Mike would end up. Marc Cherry said he hadn’t figured out what to do with Susan yet next season. And it looks like next season’s premiere will pick up six months after the finale. I think all that sounds bad for Mike. And if he does survive? I would look for him to have some sort of amnesia. How else could there be a mystery?

I said before that unless the finale was really good, I was done with the show. I can’t say it was really good (because it wasn’t), but the cliffhanger probably did its job. I will probably tune in next season.

But if Mike’s dead, I can’t see me tuning in for long.

Stay tuned…