"Desperate Housewives" Review: Time to Get Out of the Shower

At the end of last season, I said I thought I might be outgrowing “Desperate Housewives.”

Now, after seeing the season premiere, I’m sure of it…

When last we left Wisteria Lane, Gaby and Carlos had taken in Carlos’ teenage niece. Bree was getting friendly with Susan’s ex, Karl, while her husband Orson blackmailed her into staying married to him. Lynette found out she was pregnant with twins and Mike was marrying either Susan or Katherine…

Because I have been sworn to secrecy, I cannot say anything about the Mike/Susan/Katherine storyline. But I can talk about the other storylines, which unfortunately, are completely familiar to anyone that has ever watched the show.

Lynette is her usual whining, selfish self, even making another expectant mother cry. It doesn’t help that I completely despise this story, because I think it’s totally wrong to saddle Lynette with another pregnancy.

Gaby is showing a little less selfishness, but that’s because Carlos’ niece, Anna, has soaked it all up. I understand that they’re trying to give Gaby a chance to see herself at that age, but again, it’s a little annoying.

And of course there are some mysterious new residents on the Lane, the Bolen family. The son, Danny, befriends Susan’s returned daughter, Julie, and instantly begins acting strangely. And the dad is sufficiently creepy, while the mother tries to befriend the other ladies.

As I said, it’s all familiar since the show has done it all before…

The only saving grace is Bree and Karl, thanks to the always welcome Richard Burgi (Karl). Even though Karl is as slimy as they come, you still want Bree to give into him—especially when you get a look at the six pack Burgi is sporting these days (He would have been perfect as the lead in “Eastwick,” but he’s probably better off where he is.).

All long-running shows repeat storylines, but it seems like “Desperate” is in permanent “lather, rinse, repeat” mode.

And I’m starting to think that I’m ready to get out of the shower…

“Desperate Housewives” premieres Sunday, September 27th at 9 p.m. on ABC…

Photo Credit: Danny Feld/ABC