"13: Fear Is Real" Review: Lame, Lame, Lame

I have to admit that sometimes networks send me shows to watch that I’m really not all that anxious to see.

And I would absolutely put “13: Fear Is Real” in that category. After all, I don’t like horror movies. So combining them with a reality show didn’t really seem like my kind of thing.

But I needn’t have worried since “13” is too lame to be scary.

Now there are a few creepy moments, but those are mostly generated by the “Blair Witch” style direction and editing that make it hard to even know what’s happening most of the time…

“13,” which boasts Sam Raimi (“Spider-Man” movies) as one of its executive producers, takes 13 contestants and drops them in the woods of the Louisiana bayou. They’re competing to stay alive as each week a player is “killed” by The Mastermind—an unseen Jigsaw-like person that communicates with the players through the phone, recorded messages and through speakers placed in the woods.

The last person standing will win $66,666 (Clever, huh?).

But in all honesty, the contestants are so lame you probably won’t care who wins. Leah tells us from the very beginning that she hates the dark. So she would want to do this to herself, why? She says she wanted to conquer her fears, but considering the numerous breakdowns she has in the premiere, she’s failing miserably.

And the contestants seem to keep forgetting this is a game. Yes, some of the things that happen to them would be pretty scary whether they’re a game or not, but they seem surprised that anything is happening to them at all. Did they not know what they were getting into when they signed on? It’s like they actually think their lives are in danger…

Which makes me think there’s a whole lot of acting going on here to try and ratchet up the drama. But instead it only makes the show more lame.

I think that’s the most times I’ve ever used the word lame in one post.

But I’m afraid that with “13,” there’s no better word…

“13: Fear Is Real” premieres Wednesday, January 7th at 8 p.m. on The CW…

Photo Credit: Patrick Wymore/CW