"CSI: Miami": A Cheesy Homage to a Classic

I promised you lots of cheesy goodness from the “CSI: Miami” season finale. And what could be cheesier than an homage to the most classic cliffhanger of all time?

Warning: If you have not seen the season finale of “CSI: Miami,” stop reading now…

The actual storyline of this episode made little sense--other than to set up the final moments and to tease us some more with the thought of Eric and Calleigh as a couple (Get them together already!)--but it had something to do with illegal killer bullets ending up on the street. And somehow Ron, the boyfriend of Julia, the mother of Kyle, Horatio’s son, was involved.

One by one, the stage was set as Horatio was threatened by Ron and the episode’s main bad guy. Then, we saw Julia going somewhere with a gun, and even Kyle seemed ready to use his own gun.

Then, just like that classic “Who shot J.R.?” moment (although way cheesier), Horatio was shot with a whole list of suspects--including one I should’ve seen coming, but didn’t…

Ryan had left the interrogation room because he had somewhere to be, which I thought was suspicious, but then it completely slipped my mind--until Ryan emerged in front of the police station with the text message, “It is done.”

I’m a big fan of Ryan, so I was pretty upset that they were making him a bad guy. And then I remembered that this is “CSI: Miami,” the show that loves to tease with us things that aren’t what they seem (Eric’s “death” anyone?). So I‘m, pretty sure that Ryan was not involved (Maybe he was receiving the text message Horatio was sending when he was shot?). But it does give the whole cliffhanger a nice little twist that they will no doubt screw up next year…

And as for Horatio, I hope you don’t actually think he’s dead, because there’s just no way. There is no “CSI: Miami” without Horatio.

So, how will he survive? Especially if the shooter used those illegal bullets?

Why, his magic sunglasses, of course. Why do you think he was reaching for them at the end?…